04 Apr Climbing the Financial Ladder Together: Sensible Secrets to Reach your Financial Goals as a Happy Couple
Ever wonder what you and your partner could do to break through your own financial ceiling? Ever since I was little I was fascinated by the way people spoke (and didn’t speak) about money. Why was the subject taboo? Wasn’t money something that everybody wanted? Didn’t having more money allow people to have more fun, take better care of themselves and the people they loved, as well as create opportunities to do more good in the world? Why all the hush-hush? Let’s talk!
We all have a money story. The stories we tell ourselves about money not only run deep but also affect how much money we are able to receive, earn, save and enjoy. Perhaps one reason money is such a sensitive subject is because it touches the parts of us that feel vulnerable. How much do we really feel we deserve? Is there a limit? Is our self-worth connected to our net worth?
As a psychotherapist, I often have the opportunity to help people improve the way they relate and deal with money. I’ve noticed as people’s thoughts and attitudes change for the better – their bank accounts also change for the better. If you feel you’ve reached your financial ceiling, it might be time to examine the story you have been telling yourself about money.
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What is your money mindset? Does it make you feel good? Does it feel exciting and empowering to you? Improve your money mindset and everything else about your experience with money will also change. Try on some new thoughts for example: “I am profoundly grateful for all that I have.”, “I enjoy being curious and learning about money.”, “My ability to receive is always expanding.”, “The way I manage money reflects my true values.”, “My relationship with money is deeply satisfying.” Change your story, take some action and your bank account will change.
TALK TO EACH OTHER
Deane Giordano, transformational money coach, and creator of The Mind Money Wealth Project helps people break through to their next income level. Deane suggests that the most important thing a couple can do is to talk to each other regularly about money. A weekly meeting is great. “Talk about your dreams, financial goals and how you’d like to get there together.” Deane explains that in order for our conversations to move us forward, we must come from a place of “non-judgment and with an attitude of curiosity and openness.” Regular open conversations about money with your partner will help you become an aligned team and increase your closeness while you bust through your financial ceiling together.
SHARE THE WEALTH
When I was in my late twenties, I had a debt. I owed my aunt three thousand dollars and felt terrible about it. At the time it seemed like a huge amount of money to owe. My cousin suggested I read the book Debt-Proof Living: The Complete Guide to Living Financially Free by Mary Hunt. It changed my life. In the book, Mary states that there are only five things you can do with money: “give it, save it, invest it, lend it, spend it”. One of the suggested steps in Mary’s book is to give a portion of your income away. At the time, I wasn’t making much money and the idea of giving money away felt scary. The thing that blew my mind and changed my life (besides getting out of debt and feeling better about myself) was every month that I gave money away – my income increased. Every month. No exceptions! You could call it a spiritual lesson or a spiritual practice, but to me, it felt like magic.
Whatever your beliefs about money, it feels good to give. Give your time, your love, your joy, your money, your good thoughts. Giving is a secret to increasing your wealth. Perhaps it is because giving increases our self-worth or maybe it simply makes us feel more deserving. Whatever the case, it works. Just look at giving as a financial tip and see how it applies in your life. “The miracle is this: The more we share, the more we have.” – Leonard Nimoy.
This article was originally published in the May 2015 issue of VETTA Magazine.